So yes, a milestone has passed, hasn’t it? My baby turned 1 and that signaled him to be officially a toddler. I am grateful beyond words everyday. However, I would like to express myself in words so here it is:
I never thought that i would feel as emotional as I feel. I capture every moment that I could and feel very lucky to have my little baby. My Emerson has been the calmest, happiest baby ever and it’s really such a blessing. How could a small human change me so much? Remember, I never imagined a life with a baby and now I cannot mention life without. Life works really oddly and I guess God has intended me to raise a kid and learn the adventures and challenges of motherhood. I can’t wait to grow with my little one and experience the many firsts that there will be
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I never also knew how my mom would feel until I had my young one. My mother even now always worries about me and only has me and my siblings’ best interests at heart and now i can say, not one moment passes without me thinking if Emerson had enough to eat, sleeping enough, warm enough, cold enough, etc. Not until this moment this past year has brought do I feel my mother’s feelings in its entirety.
I believe the worried feelings will even increase as my baby grows older. He walks around and explores EVERYTHING at the moment. He is an early walker as compared with other babies i know of. Therefore, the closets, bathrooms have to be closed; we supervise him 24-7 when he’s not on his high chair or in bed. It’s gratifying but tiring work since my husband and I both work. I am thankful for our nanny too who takes a big load off of us.
Regarding work- I am still part time (4 days) at store and half day Work From Home when I can and I think that is good enough because I do not want to miss my baby’s moments. He changes a lot every day and can pick up new knowledge in an instant. I also need him to prefer me like how he loves daddy and nanny. Sometimes I feel like I’m third in preference. Maybe it’s just a feeling. But balancing is hard. I feel guilty when I’m at work that I’m not with my baby but guilty when I’m at home when I’m not working. It’s hard. Working moms do not have it easy. I can be flexible with my time but sometimes I feel like I’m not optimizing my work time. Again, this feeling can change and I need to work on productivity. Are there any working moms out there?
The World according to Kaleena 